There is a canyon on the south side of Lone Pine Peak, which is just West of Lone Pine and looks at Mt. Whitney with mountains’ equivelent of penis envy, but should have more confidence because it is a sick peak in its own right. In this canyon there is a big house built from stone, lots of boulders, lots of manzanita, incredible granite walls, and no water. There is a creek that supposedly runs through the canyon, but this late in what was a very dry season, the creek is drier than (insert the name of someone’s mother who you dislike)’s vagina. We were not aware of the water situation, and after camping high the first night, agreed that we would approach the base of the climb, but not get on the route unless we were able to find water before 10am (we found no water). Despite following everyone’s approach Beta of “stay high,” the bushwacking was worse than (insert disliked person’s mother’s name)’s unshaven beaver and our fallback plan of hiking out and climbing in the valley was tempting. We got back to the car before noon that day, drove to Bishop, and climbed in the Happies until dark. We camped in the Buttermilks and climbed at Owen’s River Gorge the next morning and bouldered in the Buttermilks that afternoon. I got back to SD from Bishop in under 4.5 hours and got the Suburu up to 120 mph at certain points in the Mojave, so to all of you who make fun of Organic Lightning (that’s my car’s name), suck my balls. The next time you guys go up to LPP, please let me know so I can come up there with my friend Justin and learn the secrets of the canyon and climb Red Baron Tower. The highlights of our foray into the canyon were the sunrise, and the realization that there is potential for throwing an epic party in the stonehouse next spring, when I will attempt to snowshoe up to the stonehouse trailing a sled on which will be a keg of Sierra Nevada, food, and firewood.

PS. Newest routes in the canyon: Stonehouse Traverse V3 (FA Gil Weiss 2007 in approach shoes), Stonehouse Chimney VB